Current mood:

sad

the clock ticks
It is June 2nd.

One day of June has passed, and already I feel like a giant failure because I haven't found a solution - even though I know that there is no easy answer, no quick-fix, no Hail Mary pass.

To make a long and exhausting story short - because between the fact that my neck is absolutely killing me, and the fact that thinking about this will only make me fret myself into a state of not-sleeping - we have a month.

One month, the letter said. Until June 30th to come up with the portion of loan in default (March, April, and May - $5979) plus any fees/penalties and the payment for June ($1800). One month to come up with roughly eight-thousand dollars.

If we can't do that, then they're going to begin the foreclosure process on the house.

...



(Yeah, that's what I said.)

I don't even think that selling all of our things would help at this point (though I would gladly sell body parts if it weren't illegal) because come July, we'd be in the same hole.

It was dad's idea to buy the house - he barely discussed it with my mom, really - and he was so proud of the fact that we'd gotten out of our rental and had our own home. Maybe that's why I've got just a hard time dealing with all this and the thought of losing this house. He poured his heart into it, and it's full of memories and his mark.

I don't want to lose it because I can't stand the thought of losing him again. I just can't and I hate feeling so powerless.

I would give anything to keep this house. Anything.

All I can do is pray for a miracle, and keep pushing on. I won't give up because I won't give up on this.

I won't give up on him.